


Downs, Part Two

by CyrahX



Series: The many stages of Jay and Dick's very special relationship [11]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Difficult Decisions, Drama, Dramatic Dickie, Hurt No Comfort, Husbands, I haven't posted in so long I forgot how to tag, Loss, M/M, No Spoilers, Not that it's not understandable, Pain, Sequel, Though there's still no comfort, ouchie, smh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 10:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14789012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrahX/pseuds/CyrahX
Summary: Dick makes a decision that Jason had always feared the most.





	Downs, Part Two

**Author's Note:**

> OMG I'M BACK. With yet another angsty chapter - although there are no explicit mentions of the past stuff that happened. I guess I'm kind of trying to fix things? 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy a short, angsty chapter about a now inevitable stage in their lives.

It had been so surreal when it happened.

And yet so real and right in front of him, tearing him down and apart like nothing else in months.

 

Dick. Lucky. And a suitcase.

 

oOo

 

_"Don't," Jason said, his left arm weakly reaching out out to his husband, index finger signaling for him not to move. Jason's eyes were unsure, no heat in them._

_"Jason. **Move** ," Dick responded after a second of hesitation, an unusually strict tone in his voice._

_"You can't - I mean, I don't want - Where do you even-"_

_"Move aside," Dick repeated, this time followed by a deep exhale showing his lack of strength for this argument._

_Jason stayed in his position, half blocking the door, and tooka short look around, not moving his head. He was clearly alert; he didn't know how to handle that situation but feel challenged. Betrayed._

_Dick wanted to leave. Wanted to leave **him**._

_Jason had been at work and had only arrived in time because his boss had owed him for doing so many extra hours. If he hadn't gone earlier, Dick would've already been gone without a word. Or knowing him, with some sappy and dramatic letter that Jason would've memorized forever like it was burnt into his soul._

_He was damn sure Dick wasn't going on a weekend vacation to the manor. The closet was open, half his clothes gone. His Nightwing suit in the bag on his shoulder. Toothbrush and underwear still splayed out on the bed. Their wedding picture put down on the nightstand, facing the ground._

_Jason didn't understand. He didn't want to. He thought they were happy. The other day they'd been talking about visiting an amusement park, and suddenly Dick wanted to end their relationship with a snap of his fingers._

_"Dick," he started in a shaky whisper, "I know I'm not easy, okay?" One step closer, "I know that I'm an ass and you have every goddamned right to hate me, but- You don't have to-"_

_"Don't come closer!" Dick suddenly shouted, immediately getting tense. It took Jason aback, it hurt him. Was Dick scared? Did he think Jason would hurt him, again?_

_"You're right, Jay. I have every right to hate you. But I don't. Okay? I just, I can't stay. I‘ve thought so long about this. Too long to keep **this** –“ he gestured around the room, “ – up.“_

_"If you don't hate me, why do you wanna fucking leave me?!" Jason then burst out. He didn‘t want to. Didn't want to shout and get angry, but everything inside of him **screamed** that this was all wrong. He couldn‘t help himself. Dick sure was his greatest strength, but at the same time, his greatest weakness._

_"If you love me, like you always say, then why do you keep hurting me?" Dick countered and Jason instantly knew what he meant. It pained him incredibly and made him lose the heat in his words all over again._

_"I've, I've apologized, Dick. A thousand times. I told you I – I was sorry and will never do that again. I told you I'd rather die than hurt you. I told you I was even **thinking** about dying – But you said we would get through this. **You** said that!"_

_"I'm sorry," Dick just responded, walking past him. Jason grabbed his wrist, softly._

_They locked eyes, Jason's look vulnerable, watery._

_"I love you," he managed to bring out, an ugly sob making its way out of his mouth._

_"Don't make this harder on us, Jay," Dick whispered._

_"Do you still love me?" He asked, "I don't deserve to know, but I need to hear it. You are the only reason I breathe, Dick, I –" He couldn't do this without him. He wouldn't._

_"Don't. Stop. I've made up my mind – I need to go. I need to clear my head a bit, I need to think about... us. And I can't with you holding me back. You need to let me go, Jay.“  
His gaze fell. Hesitantly, he continued, “I tried. I tried to forget about it for you, I tried to help you. But then you tell me about amusement parks, about vacation, about children - and I **can't**. All I see is lies and apologies and you acting like it's okay, like nothing‘s ever happened. I don't want you to give me everything I desire to make up for what you did. I don't want you to remind me of how sick our relationship is every single time you try to make me feel good. I-"_

_"I thought you wanted this."_

_"And that's my problem." Dick turned away for a moment before facing his husband again._

_"I can't be wanting this. It's not right to feel the way I do. Taking care of you knowing that I am going to regret it anyway. I'm sorry, Jay."_

_"Will you come back?" Jason asked, hopeful._

_"I don't know," Dick whispered._

 

And with that, he had watched the love of his life go, maybe for good.

And he was alone again.

 

oOo

 

Five months passed.

 

Dick didn't come back.


End file.
